Dialogue with OML
Yep I'm obsessed with Tom Hiddleston this time. And I kind of know why I am so attracted to him. He is educated in Eton College, and graduated from Cambridge. Now why am i not surprised my favourite equestrian Alex was also educated in Eton College and graduated from Cambridge. I suppose they have that unique royal air about them that work their magic through my computer screen.
Eton College is almost the most prestigious boy school in the world. (I want my sons in there). The old system requires boys to be registered at birth by their fathers, most of them alumnus of the school themselves. Sons of Nobel price winners or Royalty are given privileges. Honestly speaking, prestige is my drug. Im so attracted to prestige that my life now seems like one pathetic excuse.
Anyway, back to the reason why i always have such strong attachment to movies or books i like. I realised it's because i longed to be part of something so amazing. When I was younger I waited for Hogwarts letter and taught myself spells from the book armed with a chopstick. When I got older i'm intrigued by convincing acting skills. I protected my ego from being shattered by myself by not admitting that i really, secretly, want to be an actress. It is always easier to dream. Dream about scripts and plots and the film set and how and where the camera should pan and shoot, dream about how the tears cascade down, dream about how lips caress nose tips and eyelashes flutter on cheeks. It's always easier to dream. It's not that i didn't try to work towards it. I did. It just didn't work out the way i would want it to.
I'm attracted to people who are so established and successful in their careers, who are so charismatic and amazing that i feel unworthy to even like them. Like who am I to adore them I will never be like them, incomparable success and achievements.
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I have a solution for you though; You should keep that Phoenix shut in that silver cage forever, and let all your dreams die along with it. As long as you stop feeding it with your foolish ambitions, it will all fade away.
But you don't understand, i don't want to be told what to do what to think and what not to think. I don't want my life to be made using the same mould society uses to make everyone else's. I just want to show the world that the society don't own me, if I am to die, i would still want to be me.
oooo. It burns you to have come so close. To have put in so much effort, futile effort. And for what? You're still a failure, you mewling quim.
Yep you are right. No doubt about that. I rest my case.
